so. jessica.

things i learned in vegas.

• you have to stand in a long ass line for everything. even to go stand in another line.
• all escalators to the raised walkways are broken. always. especially if you’ve been walking stairs all day.
• it’s really windy. bring a hair tie. and a barrette.
• people on the street pass out little cards with naked ladies with stars covering their nipples on them. they think that if they snap the cards as you walk by and then shove them in your face you will want one. they are mostly wrong.
• i saw two different guys collecting every single nudie card they could. the snap must’ve worked on them.
• sequins are king. if i ever go back, i will be purchasing something sparkly and ridiculous to wear at night. or in the daytime.
• you will get lost in the hotels. you just will. the signs really don’t help you get out. they just trap you inside for hours.
• you can buy a margarita in a plethora of containers. we’re talking eiffel towers, blenders, five foot tall glasses, plastic guitars that are strapped around your neck. i must have an eiffel tower. i must.
• i will not stay anywhere but the venetian. omg the venetian…
• everyone and their grandma is either smoking or drinking or both. at all times.
• if you try to walk anywhere but the sidewalk at the airport you will get a whistle blown at you by a cop. welcome to vegas.
• if you don’t bring purell and use it every .006 seconds you will contract horrible, horrible illnesses that will last for weeks.

all in all, vegas was an experience. once i forget this three week germfest that is still currently residing inside my person, i might go back. but i am not leaving my hotel.